Traits that parents want their children to possess in the United States

To have a sense of responsibility--63%

To treat people well and their parents well---49%

To be tolerant about people and about life---45%

To possess a meaningful faith---36%

To be independent so they can be successful---29%

Pastor Doyle's List (ours may differ)--

To love and obey God

To fulfill God's will for their life

To know who they are with confidence

To take responsibility for their choices

To have a thankful and humble spirit

To have a positive attitude and behavior

Parents should influence their children, and those to whom they are ministering. We "beget" others through our influence.

What parents owe their children--

(1) Unconditional love.

This provides security, intimacy, and a nurturing environment.

Romans 1:14 says that we are a debtor to all men. And Romans 13:8 Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.

(2) Constructive Discipline--

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Hebrews 12:5-11 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: [6] For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. [7] If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? [8] But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. [9] Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? [10] For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. [11] Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

Correct discipline will cause children to respect their parents, it will cause children to do right, and it will cause children to live in peace.

(3)Parents owe their children TIME!

Parents are prone to give their children everything except the one thing they need most. That is time---time for listening, for understanding, for helping, for guiding. It sounds simple, but in reality, it is the most difficult, and the most sacrificial task of parenthood.

In America, how parents spend family time---

Watching TV together---86%

Spend 30 minutes talking about things important to the child---80%

Spend time doing homework---73%

Go to a restaurant together---69%

Take a trip that the children would enjoy---59%

Play some type of a game---49%

Attend a cultural activity---23%

Go to a movie together---13%

(4) A Christian Model---

A study reveals that if both the mother and father attend church regularly 72% remain faithful to God.

If only dad attends regularly---55%

If only mom attends regularly---15%

If neither parent attends regularly---6%

(5)Mutual Respect---

The toughest thing about raising kids is convincing them who has seniority. We need to remember to not try to make them like us. God made them an individual, and it is our job to help them find out the things God has put in them, and to develop their talents and use them for the Lord. And we need to teach them life lessons from every day experience. We need to understand their personality and their pressures, and listen to them--have compassion on them, and use the wisdom we have to help them and to guide them.

(6) A foundation for the future---

The best inheritance is a good name. This gives your child roots and wings. Stability and freedom!